Monday, December 24, 2007


This was actually inspired by an e-mail sent to a friend during an ongoing debate on what actually makes a woman “ THE WOMAN”…….a complete woman, an enriched one, a happening woman, the 21st –century woman ??

She rather brashly categorized women into three categories…the motivated “career” types, the “um-somewhere-there-in-the-middle” types, and the unmotivated, non-receptive-to-a-career, “prefer-to-have-babies-breeding-like-rabbits” types!! It goes without saying that as far as my young friend is concerned, the third variety deserves a severe lashing!!

The categories got me tickled and indignant all at the same time, got me thinking, really,…….i’m a 21st- century woman, too….where do I fit?....more than that….what would be the categories I would assign to my fellow-lady-ducks….and most of all,…. what makes us complete, as women, finally? Is career the only scale on which we rate ourselves in today’s world? Is that not too narrow a landscape to separate the “whole” from the “amiss”??

I would categorize the educated, urban women into three categories too.....

The caterpillars...........those who live their whole lives in comfort, provided first by their fathers and then by their husbands, who never make a decision involving more than what to get made for lunch or which nail-polish to buy, who never bat their heavy mascara-loaded eyelids to global-warming or the plight of Somalians: they run their air-conditioners on high and gorge on McD’s aloo-tikki burgers….
they never step out of their silk-cocoons. Unloved, yet-content, they live a caterpillars life in happy-oblivion....
they are redundant, stunted, unchallenged and unchallenging.....
nothing against them, though, God makes all kinds......

Then, there are those who are feminists…….they have a big-time sixties’ “women’s-liberation” hangover!!
True, they say no to safe cocoons, they step out in the man's world, striding ahead, they are driven, strong, even-brutal.........they move fast......single-minded towards "success", which can only be described as a “pat” on the back by a more successful man......
but while they're busy doing what they are doing, the essence of a woman's mind, body and soul deserts them and fades away. Poor girls don't even realize what they missed until its long-gone. They are left alone, unhappy, soul-less, neither man nor woman, wallowing solitary, in ...."SUCCESS" .
these are the ugly moths, they burn-out.

The third would be butterflies.........women who soar high on sunlit wings. Who have known love, love as women are supposed to know it. These women could be a little bit of caterpillars, or feminists even. But they are different stil, for they have been touched by the irrevocable-power of love that only a soul mate can give....these are EVOLVED WOMEN….....who see priorities differently, who seek new intelligence everyday, have enormous powers of comprehension for they have comprehended the elixir of life - procreation, yen-and yang, light and dark, they have seen GOD and BLESSING in their loving-homes and they know how hard it can be to create a loving home, and how much it means to those they create it for!!

They have experienced the one thing that makes a woman the ability to that’s a woman….....who gives selflessly, every time, gives a bit of herself everyday, it makes her divine to those she loves...........
Yes, she takes care at setting the lunch-table sometimes…..matching plates and cutlery, and yeah!!..sometimes she just pigs-out of the serving-bowl while watching TV……..produces like rabbits too!!...ha, ha…..she revels in makes her Madonna-of-the-rocks, the holy grail, Margaret Thatcher and Madame-curie all rolled in one....

21st century, or freaking pre-Christ times....a woman is a woman, her beauty and radiance lies in her ability to love selflessly, procreate, nurture, mold, define.......that's why the world is beautiful and life is livable....its stupid to stoop-down to the level of men and compete with them on any scale.....there can't be a comparison.....woman was made superior by God himself....
for she was given a womb.................
………. birth can easily be called THE MOST DIFFICULT thing in the world, u might be PT Usha, Britney Spears or Hilary Clinton.....this is your GREATEST achievement.....nothing comes close to it.........GOD is holding your hand that fateful day, he's caressing your hair....carrying u through death and back.....can there be a greater revelation/redemption/blessing ????!!!!!!
To take good care of a child who's come into this world so helpless and innocent, a gift of God and Love......the first time she clasps your finger, u melt…....the unwavering love and trust that little thing entrusts u with is HUMBLING.......u melt u cry u laugh, rejoice and crap-bricks at the same time....takes a hell of a woman to bring that little baby as , above all , a good human-being, a capable person......

Hey, I’m a girl, and God knows, I’ve been a bit of all three above at different turns in life…..that makes me human……..but for all those little-girls prancing around out there who shall shape this world tomorrow, lets pray that they grow into the “right” kind of 21st century women……strong, modern, yet rooted in realism and tradition…lets wish them a fulfilled-life, a loving home, a wonderful partner, children, and strength to tackle adversities


  1. hey never thought that you had evolved so much in these six -seven years till the time Isaw this ha ha !! no but on a serious note ,itis overwhelming and so true to a large extent tht A woman has come a long way and still has a long way to go hey all the women who happen to read this dont u feel tht u are the loved one tht is the reason GOD chose u to be a WOMAN !!!

  2. Evolved....
    I think u cant put better adjective Before the word 'woman'.

    This post comes at a time when m tryin to understd this creation of god known as WOMAN... and let me say that this post is apt classification of woman in todays society.... u have all of them....

    i think the melange(my obsession for the word) of all these types wud make a complete woman which has been beautifull described as Evolved Woman.....

  3. hey...u know nobody could have described woman so beautifully as u has actually given me food for how women usually underestimate themselves by livin in the shadow of their spouces,lovers etc.its time that we look at ourselves frm a bigger angle...n feel proud abt it.gr8 going gal....u made us all sit n think.

  4. thats a lovely piece of writing.. so much FEMININE.
    I, being a woman myself would agree with you 100% . these thoughts and feelings can be understood best by none other than a complete woman herself; just like U talk about motherhood when u're carrying..but it has a complete new definition when u have ur child in hand;yet another when u help ur child grow;still another when ur child grows big and is all on his own.
    So, i really pray for all the women ( the superior beings ) to infact FEEL THE SUPERIORITY.

  5. to say that the ultimate acheivement of a woman is that of a childbearer is in itself limiting. it kind of makes her own life secondary to a child which she is supposed to bring to the world and nurture it. id rather see a woman through the "humanist" lens, rather than through a mother/wife/nurturer/procreator lens. "humans" are transcendant entities, always more than limited definitions, whose ultimate value lies in their own selves, and maximizing and enriching their own lives, with a fundamental need for both love and creativity, possessing an inborn right to define their own identity and path (rather than socially ascribed roles of "mother", "wife", "career woman") etc etc.

    i remember seeing a big fight episode in which someone beautifully summed this up. ashutosh rana was defending ancient scriptures against the allegation of being patriarchal and lampooning of women. he had said - "shastrton ne aurat ko bahut ooncha darja diya hai, shastron mein aurat hai marmbhoomi, aur mard karmbhoomi etc etc," to which a very enlightened professor had replied "ashutosh ji, aap meethi meethi baaton mein sacchai ka gala na ghoten, aap aurat ko na to devi banayen na to daasi, use vahi rehne den jo vo hai, aur vo hai insaan"

  6. As I am a practitioner of actualism, I find your statements soulful, heart-felt, and nurture-oriented.

    And I am being critical when I say it. :-)

    Biologically women have a strong nurturing instinct, and only by having and nurturing a child can this instinct be fully satisfied.

    But to live as an instinctual creature, as an identity (be that of woman-kind 1, 2 or 3) is not to have realized one's destiny, that of living as matter made aware.

    It is true, in your classification, that women of the 1st kind are self-enclosed, women of the second kind are trying to correct the world rather than themselves, and those of the third kind are tending to their families, functioning as nature intended them.

    But since I see the natural human condition as deeply sorrowful and flawed, I am inclined to view a giving person as a well-intentioned, but ultimately unfulfilled individual.

    You might want to go through:

  7. mam I should tell u... If i dnt give u a compliment God will not forgive me for sure.. U r blog is the best blog I have read till date....

  8. Chanced upon your blog. You have put across your views rather well, and while I agree with you that approval in another's eyes is not what a woman should consider the proof of her completeness, I wouldnt think that instinctive traits which she is born with should define her either.The argument is very much like the fact that a man should not be identified by his inherent physical strength. There is nothing wrong about being a career woman.If you want to succeed by being famous or rich, or just work your a** off on a project you like, there is nothing wrong with it.If you choose to instead concentrate on your children and see your success in their joyful faces, that is fine too.The important thing here is being "able to choose", not "what you choose". In my opinion a truly empowered woman is one who is capable of bearing responsibility for her actions entirely by herself, which means that if needed she can work to feed the child she has borne, or even bring home bread for the man she has loved and decided to spend her life with. She takes her decisions independently and is has the strength to stand by her principles and her loved ones, whether that means changing diapers or working tirelessly to lay bread on the table.


lemme know what u think...share your thoughts on the post. Comments, critisicm, all is let it loose!


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