Saturday, September 20, 2008

THE LEFTY SYNDROME


I am left handed. What makes this interesting is the fact that we live in a right-handed world. In fact, only 13% of all the people in the world are lefties! So u see, not everyone is blessed to be left handed, it's an oddity bestowed on very few lucky people, and I happen to be one of them.

To start with, every now and then I hear rather astonishing and not to mention frivolous facts about left handedness. For example, did you know that Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater? Damn! I should've been a deep sea diver. I would've aced my entire practical. Or that 4 of the 5 original designers of the Macintosh computer were left-handed! Wow, lots of diverse career opportunities seem to be suddenly emerging, looks like we might soon have a super-duper memory chip named after "free-lefty-fallin". Who knows? The world (underwater, more specifically) lies open before us!

The weirdest thing I heard was that lefties are going to die earlier than the right-handed ones because the heart is closer to the left side and the left ventricle has to push the blood with greater force because it has to supply blood to whole body so if we do all the work with left hand it would put much pressure on our left side even in heart attack a person's left side suffers pain, blah, blah, blah…..
what a load of crap!!

Jokes apart, there is an impressive list of famous lefties. I must add, being left handed, we are in great company (or maybe these famous lefties are in great company). Left Handed Actors: Abhishek Bachchan, Amitabh Bachchan, Pierce Brosnan, Jim Carrey, Charlie Chaplin, Robert DeNiro, Matt Dillon, Hugh Jackman, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis……
Actresses: Drew Barrymore, Kim Basinger, Greta Garbo, Whoopi Golberg, Angelina Jolie, Diane Keaton, Nicole Kidman, Demi Moore, Julia Roberts…
Musicians/Singers: David Bowie, Kurt Cobain, Phil Collins, Bob Dylan, Mark Knopfler, Ricky Martin, Eminem, Sir Paul McCartney, George Michael, Seal, Paul Simon, Ringo Starr, Sting, Beethoven…
Cricketers: Wasim Akram, Brian Lara, Sir Gary Sobers, Alan Border, Saurav Ganguly, David Gower, Graham Pollock…Scientists: Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Alan Turing….Politicians: Bill Clinton, Thomas Jefferson, JFK, Ronald Reagan, Colin Powell, George Bush, Fidel Castro….Is that really amazing? Or is it just 13% of the world's achievers? Doesn't it just fit the ratio?

I actually grew up thinking there is a reason why someone is left-handed. As a kid, I loved romanticizing it all…..we are the special ones, lefties are different, more creative, "off-the-usual-path" thinkers, we are meant to do greater things, so on and so forth……in reality, we are just a bunch of odd people with a snooty-hangover and whole heap of practical problems!
For one, it's a right-handed guy's world. Every gadget is designed keeping him in mind. Utter failure in handling these items correctly has plagued our existence. Take a small thing like scissors. They have to be held at a certain angle in your right hand for them to work effectively. Swiss-knives. Calligraphy-pens. Video cameras. Normal cameras. Can openers. Writing chairs with flaps on the right side. Scales and squares. Same story.

Vessels and utensils with beaks are made so that fluids can be poured while holding the handle with right hand. Momma, don't scold me for spilling your broth! It's an unfair world!

There are a dozen everyday activities in which I am forced to use my right hand. The computer mouse always lying on my right side, it's a nuisance to keep making space for it on my left side. And even when I do that, my middlefinger is doing the job of my forefinger. Another task challenging my inherent capabilities is holding that heavy puja-thali with my right hand and doing "aarti" for good-ten minutes. Credit card swipe machines are actually hostile to left-handers. Every move, from swiping card at the doorway to punching code, was engineered for a right-handed person. So user-"unfriendly"!

Worst case scenario…in an examination hall your bench mate is an over zealous, selfish righty and he sits on your left. You are doomed.

Polo has to be played with the right hand. Most musical instruments have to be played with right. A guitar is a horror in the wrong side, though I hear Jimi Hendrix, the God of guitar was a left handed dude. Guess his technique died-young with him.
Most hilarious situations occur at the dinner table. First of all one needs to make sure he/she sits on the left of a right-handed eater to avoid knocking elbows. Believe me, a couple of times I've nearly been smacked with a bottle because I constantly elbowed a very hungry guest! Dining manners are a hitch when you start to use a spoon. We want to dig our pasta and fondue with the same fervour as the righty guy on the right, but there's always confusion about which hand to hold the fork and knife respectively with. Most of the Restaurants have taps on left side of their basins. If I'm eating with my left hand how the hell can I open the tap from the same hand?maybe the CEO of Crabtree or Jaquar bathfittings should look into this.

Sometimes, when you're writing a form or some such thing at a public place, people just stare at you as if you're from another planet, or Satan's advocate.......so annoying!! The icing on the cake is whenever someone sees me writing with my left hand they always ask me "hey! You lefty??" DUHUH!!!!
Finally, it seems over 2500 left handed people are killed every year as a result of using products made for right handed people. Food for thought, eh?

8 comments:

  1. Gosh what a post! just loved it..i didnt know that u r also one of the famous lefties of the world (like me!!!:d)
    n well, being a SPECIAL ONE, more creative n "off-the-usual-path thinker" i had to drop the idea of learning guitar :(
    computer mouse is still a horror to me..n think about my poor hand when i make building models with scissors :((
    but i m not an odd one, atleast in my house as my mom, dad n bro r also the "off-the-usual-path thinkers!!"
    keep writing! njoy!

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  2. written with..A LOT OF FORCE!!! didnt know living life as a lefty had so many travails ;). mujhe to bas ye lagta tha ki lefties are good sportspersons

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  3. hey, good to see another lefty telling all what i wanted to tell the world all these years.

    anyways, i liked your style and hoping to see more of your work here.

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  4. I dint knew ur lefty until this post...

    Hillarious post....
    It seems u being a minority among the majority is no fun as such...
    Lot of observation and personal experiance has gone into this post which shows grt capability of observing tiniest (!!!) things of lyfe....

    Hope to see one day ur name among those whos who of lefty greats.... :)

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  5. Never thought life'd be so tough for you in an everyday kinda situation. Mmmm...you're so right! The world does seem to incline towards the majority/stereotypes.

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  6. Yes, indeed! We belong to the elite left-handed fraternity. And I'm a proud left-hander :)

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  7. Yes, indeed! We belong to the elite left-handed fraternity. And I'm a proud left-hander :)

    ~ Leena Bokil

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  8. Hope all the lefties had a great International Left-handers' day!

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lemme know what u think...share your thoughts on the post. Comments, critisicm, all is welcome...so let it loose!

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